Goodbye my almost Lover
by TheEmoSideOfMe
Summary: a short letter to Edward. Isabelle talks about her feelings.


**Forks, 13****th**** of September**

**Dear Edward,**

**I am so sorry that I am causing you so much trouble. You know I love you till the end of time.**

**The past events have shown me that I just don't belong into your world. You're so different. **

**You and me, we are not meant to be. **

**I hope you won't think I am crazy after you read this letter. I just can't stand it anymore and just let you do your stupid things.**

**You're going to kill me, even if you don't know it yet. And I don't think you wan me dead.**

**I'm writing this letter because I don't want to be the victim anymore.**

**I don't suppose you know who I am anymore.**

**Well let me answer that question.**

**I am Isabella Swan. Daughter of the Police Chief of Forks, Charlie Swan. Daughter of Renée Dwyer. I am 18 years old, born on September the 13****th****.**

**I finally know who I am, thanks to you.**

**I am not some stupid girl falling for your games.**

**I am an emancipated young woman, who knows what she wants. Who is ready to fight for her dreams.**

**I am independent. **

**I am strong**

**I am beautiful.**

**I am intelligent.**

**I am ambitious.**

**I am determined.**

**I am zealous.**

**I can be feisty.**

**But I am also lonely.**

**Frightened.**

**Hurt.**

**Naïve.**

**A bit depressed.**

**Stressed.**

**Broken.**

**And Suicidal.**

**I am not the girl you once knew.**

**Maybe that's why you don't recognize me anymore. I am not your little butterfly anymore. I don't want to discover the world anymore.**

**You took my will to live with you that day you said you wanted to play with the boys.**

**I thought you meant just this one time. **

**You were my best friend. You wouldn't leave me for these guys. Never. We were an item even then, being just 7 years old. Nobody could separate us.**

**Well I was wrong. **

**They came and you were gone.**

**You used your damn puppy eyes on me, saying it would be just this one time and I could tag along if I wanted to.**

**I was so naïve, believing you.**

**I was the care free little girl, nothing could bring me down.**

**I smiled at you, I remember that clearly. **

**Like you said, it was only this once.**

**But it wasn't just this one time. You were only with me for short periods of time. And even those short times got shorter and shorter till they were non-existent. **

**One day you were with me for whole 10 minutes, then you had to go to you new best friend as you said so yourself.**

**I wasn't hurt by that, no.**

**I was hurt by the fact that you forgot my birthday, even though you promised me to be there. You promised that I would have this day with you alone, that I didn't need to share with those stupid McCarty and Whitlock boys.**

**You promised me so many things. I don't know of one promise you kept.**

**The next day you weren't there.**

**After that I couldn't handle it anymore.**

**How pathetic I was. **

**An 8-year-old girl with a broken heart.**

**Mom and Dad died two years after that.**

**I don't know if anybody told you. **

**Well and even if they did, I should have expected some kind of comfort from you. You just played a prank on me the other day. You, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice.**

**I am living with Jacob since that day.**

**Yeah that's the guy you hated because he always hit on me.**

**He tried to be my best friend and even my boyfriend, but it wasn't the same.**

**Even the kisses we shared at such a young age were tender and often true.**

**Jake's were tender too, but I didn't feel anything.**

**He wanted to sleep with me a few times but I couldn't.**

**It wasn't you. I saw you in school everyday and even though you hurt me and had your girlfriends I still love you.**

**Stupid, don't you think?**

**Today I heard the news about you and Tanya. **

**You're**** engaged.**

**Should I be happy? I really have no idea.**

_**I never want to see you unhappy**_

_**I thought you want the same for me**_

_**Goodbye my almost lover**_

_**Goodbye my hopeless dream**_

_**I am trying not to think about you**_

_**Can't you just let me be?**_

_**So long my luckless romance**_

_**My back is turned on you**_

_**Should I've known you bring me heartache?**_

Almost lovers always do

**So I guess I wish you all the best and I hope you'll be happy with her.**

**I know I won't be.**

**But I won't live any longer. Maybe a few more months.**

They diagnosed me with cancer…

**Well…. I don't even know if I am going to send you this letter.**

**But if so, just know that I want you to be happy and that I forgive you.**

**In eternal love,**

**Isabella Swan**

Daily Forks

*** News paper headlines ***

Girl found dead on first beach – Isabella Swan?

In the early morning hours there was a girl found dead on the beach.

She isn't identified yet.

Police Officers won't say who the mysterious girl is.

We know from a well known source that the dead girl might have commit suicide.

If she is the missing Isabella Marie Swan isn't known yet.

Isabella´s gone missing for 24 hours. If anyone saw her, please contact the Police Station in Forks.

Yeah well…Originally I was just really bored.

I am lying in my bed, coughing like crazy with a running nose.

I am ill again^^

So sorry for not updating anything, but I´ve got my reasons,

My live is really crappy since November.

I am trying to fix that.

So maybe you´ll stay with me.

Thanks anyway

A few reviews would make my night.

Tabby


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